First Meetings

I always meet new people and it's exciting. We talk for hours about anything and everything. After a little while that feeling fades between us. They stop wanting to talk so much. It doesn't matter if the conversation dies. All we do is say hi to each other in person. We stop hanging out. Why does that happen? Am I "too forward"? Am I too friendly? Do I scare people? It's a mystery to me, but I figure the ones that don't fade out are the ones to hang onto? Maybe I should tone it down a little? I guess being so overlyfriendly could be taken to be childlike, desperate, or lonely. I am none of those except that I still have a wild imagination sometimes.

Today I showered in the stall that connects to the one next to it. I couldn't stop imagining a hand with a knife sliding under like that moment the guy goes to look at the alien trapped in the pantry in Signs. The problem was that the knife proceeded to slash my Achilles tendons, which is a fear of mine.

Since coming to college I guess you could call me a little lonely, but I'd think of it more as lonely because I don't feel as secure or close to my new friends. I sometimes feel clingy and sometimes I feel like I'm on the outside. There's no one here that I can tell everything to without worrying what they'll think or something dumb like that.

I've decided to take a chill pill. Watch me as I swallow it down (it's a rather large pill because I REALLY need to chill out).